There comes a moment in every person's life and life forces us to learn more than to live. Then, one has to choose between reality and shadows, life seems very difficult. Just like a shadow that has taken over my life.
"That shadow has gripped me so much,
It seems as if I was its slave for centuries"
I started running after the shadows and thinking to catch them, as if it was an important part of my life. As soon as, I saw that shadow moving towards me, I felt like it was me or maybe it was my conscience.
Shadow : You cannot go away from me. I will always be with you.. Just like there is always shade with sunshine and rain with clouds.
"I am so close to you,
Just like...
Loneliness never leaves the darkness"
After saying this, she disappeared somewhere and I started looking for her.. here and there like a crazy person and thinking what happened if someone has taken over my life or maybe something beyond the shores of ocean waves coming towards me and telling me to learn more about love and belief.
My diary, which used to be mine, had now become someone else’s life's greatest part. The pages of my diary had also become accustomed to her. Whenever, I sat down to write, a voice would ever come from somewhere.. and say...
hey! listen.. stop!!
Let's write something to together, so that people would also appreciate my writings. Without paying attentions on it, I started to write a poem together through my word on a blank page and while writing, somewhere my shadow (conscience) said, that I will write about myself, what I like and which gives me a new hope to live my life in a better way.
Then my conscience (shadow) wrote,
" you are hidden inside me in a such way,
that it seems I have not searched for you for centuries."
After writing this, I threw the pen and ink aside, picked up the pillow and went to sleep.
It was around 2 o'clock in the mid-night and I felt as if someone was writing something with my pen. I woke up and saw.. he was the one, who had written the fate of all of us long ago or maybe he had come only to change my fate.
He turned back and said, "come and sit next to me.. I slowly turned my steps back instead of forward and sat their unconscious for sometime.
"Your presence has had some effect on me,
Just like the soil gets wet in the rain"
Once again the voice came and I took two steps forward to him and thought maybe something good would happen today. After that, once again my conscience (shadow), called out to me to pick up the pen and write,
" This pen transformed my pain into the words,
otherwise, I was not even capable of this much."
I spent the whole night just sitting there and holding my pen, as if, someone was snatching it from me.
Now, It was 5 o'clock in the morning and the clock started ticking and I woke up.
As soon as, I woke up,"I looked around and said, I wish this was reality. It was at that moment, that,"I chose pen and paper and started putting the silent moments of my life into the words and my life became just like, I had always dreamt of.
"To make that dream a reality,
I started to search for myself in the rain of words"
And, that was the time, I started writing, I felt like,"I should tell you through my words that we have to face our silence sorrows, but in the end, we have to lock them in a box, which can never be opened or if it was opened by someone, then the life would have change in someone's perspective.
Whenever, I feel like writing something, I connected my existence with my conscience and put it into the blank paper..
where I write...
"Exhausted, I sit on the shore,
Searching for myself in the ocean waves,
I lost as if in an unknown world,
Gazing at myself,
Some memories remain
Some fade away
Thus, I continue to live,
Shaking off the past
While raising the curtains and dropping some of them,
I call myself bad
This is where, I give up the attachments of my life
In my own story, I call myself bad,
It's not like that I just keep writing,
Sometimes, I keep searching for my conscience in my story
It's been a long time
Since, I met myself
In this life, if we met somewhere don't think of me as a stranger
I am lost in the lives
Even today, I am not aware of myself....
After writing this, I realised and wove the reality and the shadows of my conscience into a single thread and kept it in my dairy with the help of a pen... for forever....
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