Aanya

I sat, hugging my knees on a platform, surrounded by life but alone in my world.

"He loves her. They are so cute." I giggled while reading another novel by my favourite author.

Being too absorbed in the fantasy, the feeling tugging in my chest was bizarre. I was tempted to part with the words, look up and scan the area around.

My eyes fell on the tall structure, fair skin in a white hoodie. Something flashed in my heart, something familiar. Probably I just did somersault inside. No no no, it's not anxiety. I reminded myself.

"May be butterflies" My subconscious mocked.

"Shut up, I cannot think straight."

"Cute", It mocked me again.

"But it's him, I saw him again Consy."

"I know it's him. Told you already, he too loves you."

My heart kept skipping beats as I gulped not-so-naive features shamelessly.

I'm sure my cheeks match the newly sprouted red leaves, hanging on the tree over my head. Everytime he chooses to sweeten my day, I can't help but feel more drawn towards him.

I don't want to be His Queen or His Oxygen and Water. I don't want him to ever choose between me and the world and find his fingers pointed at me every single time. I don't want him to forget he exists and make every molecule stamped as my name. I want to soak in his presence, not drown in it. I want him to look at me like no one else. I want him to spoil me to death. I want us to feel safe in each other's flesh. I want us to know, we won't let each other fall if we can't stand together. I want him to be my best friend. We'll share memories and life in our perfect height difference.

Dipping my head inside the book, I tried escaping my own heart.

"You are ridiculous." This subconscious me never leaves me alone. As I got myself back, I realised I lost him.

Where did he go, I wondered. Ever since I saw him, I'm unable to dig out any details other than his name.

"I reminded you that you heard his friend calling him out and forced you to remember what his name was."

"You are the best Consy. Is this what you want to hear?"

"Yep, glad."

Sighing, I shut the paperback, along with my not-so-supporting-brain and luck, I walked towards the class with image of my Adonis. His brown eyes, light in colour, flickered with softness, carrying something strange in them.

"Probably your name", Inflating my ego is best done by this consy.

The cherry smile, hidden behind glossy spark of pink.

"Only for you."

"Ughhh, Stop."

Dropping my bag on the table, I sat, being the only soul in the entire row. I looked around to find everyone hooking with their friends.

"You have me", She's back again.

"You are so self appreciating."

"You don't, so I do it myself."

Shrugging my shoulders, I uplifted myself from the bench which seemed to glue me onto it. I'm sure my jaw must be teasing the ground as he entered the class.

"You share same class. Why have you never noticed him?"

"You could have done the honours consy. Now zip it up and lemme focus."

"You are too shy to even know who are your classmates."

"Don't you know I'm an introvert, why you have to speak so much."

The way she's intruding my life is irritating. Shifting my gaze, I kept gawking at him till he sat in another row, behind me.

"How will I see him now?"

"Go and sit beside."

"You are right." I gave the most dangerous smile, I hope no one saw me.

"Consy go away, it won't take me a minute to blow your head apart."

I'm sure he has come to the class for first time.

"Probably busy in your thoughts, he would be losing his way every time. This time, he stumbled and found the right path."

I blushed. I'm not lying but consy made me blush, just with the thought.

Suddenly teacher entered the class, forcing me away from the most important thing in universe. Lecture went on but I had to focus on him and the newly found information. He, who was ready to stitch in me to form a perfect blend of black and brown. I worked against the force of resistance and guided my eyes to him.

I felt the drumming of my heart on my tongue. I swear, I saw the right thing. No, he was not looking at me. He stared deep into my soul, ready to unveil every story I hid from this world. Ready to answer my every question without haunting me into a treasure hunt. I bet this was true as my cosy went silent. She might be preparing for better stuff to tease me with later.




***



Sanchit

The baby sitting there looked like a terrified yet besotted cat, lost in a world only she could see.

"Your thoughts", My subconscious mind has a habit of being nosy.

I call him, nosy consy. "Keep that big tongue of yours inside."

A beautiful inside out girl, tinted in brown with black eyes is the new owner of my heart, my being. I saw her an year ago, laughing alone in a corner. I think she's too much into books and fantasy. I don't complain though. A pair of pink lips compliment her well but where I melt is the smile. A pure, heartful smile, which hides so many secrets inside.

If a gennie graced my way. And I was lucky enough to even get one wish granted, I would ask to rip open her heart. To know the mystery she has become for me.

I've seen her from afar and made sure to remember every feature correctly. Even if I lose my eyes now, I won't give a damn. Witnessing this beauty is enough for a lifetime.

"Besotted."

"Nosy I give you a permanent leave. Go and enjoy your life."

"My life is you."

"I'm flat I must say."

"Good for you."

A rational human would say I'm a fool to invite such a huge fine for myself by not attending lectures. It's me who's fallen softly and briskly with this soul who would understand me. The place void of her presence is a cage to me. I would better be outside an enclosed room than be inside and unable to view her.

The air I carry inside and the swarms of happiness she's paying me with is an elephant against any fine. I understand, drinking her drop by drop and pouring double to swell her heart.

"Gawking through the window, everyday, while she formed the perfect serenity for you. Watching her settle in her place. Rehearsing what you wanna say for over 100 times a day is nothing but insane love."

"I agree. You know me so well consy."

I decided to let myself be in the same room as her today. I wanted to tell her everything and gulp down my nervousness.

"You just have to do it once." Consy reminded me as I sat on the hard wood with a softness inside my heart, relishing her.

She saw me, she saw me looking at her. No, I was trying to dive into her hollow soul and fill it with my love till the brink. Instead of forcing away, I stared at her, more deep till she looked away.

"I'll do it today."

"All the best."

"You don't even have basic manners of saying Thank You after someone wishes you" Nosy consy poked her nose once again.

As I tried to bring my rattling heart at normal speed, I once again rehearsed the lines, short and crisp.

"You just have to ask for her hand."

I felt as if someone poked my eyes.

"I mean for friendship."

"You better finish your sentences in one go nosy consy."

"You liked the idea, I know."

I blushed and focused on reality.

After the teacher left, I lifted my heavy feet and approached her. My palms were sweaty and I forgot every line I'd concocted for over a year. You'll be fine. It'll be ok.

I sucked in a sharp breathe and managed to say a Hi. She returned it with equally tainted cheeks. I fumbled but offered my hand, for handshake, of course. The sparkles were clear before my eyes. The tide whirling in my chest, a testament of our coinciding hearts. I felt fresh and renewed. I could feel the same sparkles dancing across her eyes and her swelled chest. Was I lucky? No, I had the entire universe for myself.

"After rehearsing for over 40,948 times since I first saw you, Will you keep my heart with you forever and lend me yours to take care?" I said and confessed what I feel for her.

I was sure she would reciprocate. But even if she won't, I will allow her to keep my heart. What seemed like hours was not so for me. I was present, there, living, breathing, taking it all in. She shivered, which I assume was the play of butterflies inside. Probably instructed by my heart to leave their shell and fly around. She said Yes and I danced with every step I knew.

"Let me be here, in this moment", she said as we together fell on the bench, ready to hold and pick each other up for the lifetime.

I'm yet to know her side of story. If she ever planned to propose me, for friendship, of course. Could have played the waiting game, allowing more dusks and dawns to carry away your heart.

"I'm with her nosy consy. She's mine."

"Are you disowning me?"

"Never"

"We'll share memories and life."

Breathing into each other, she gave me her heart and I nestled it inside my chest. A warm hug could displace every matter of unease and stress, I discovered that day.






***





Aanya

I closed the journal when I felt the page could no longer carry more tears. I'll keep visualising, You and Me, Sanchit.

The white walls seem to fade and colour on their own to a blank hobby of concoctions. The coffee's cold, dusk birthed and soon moon would be ruling the sky and my heart. I'll forget you and let the night caress me into gentle sleep.

The tremble never leaves, the heaviness increases but a part of my heart feels light when I write you in a way only I have the right to imagine. Mine. Pure. Imaginary. Perfect. Fading.

The journal too mocks me once again for building a setting where you exist in a universe I am unaware of. When people say Love, I come back to you. I would always come back to you, even if it's in ink.

"He never existed!"

"But it feels so real and right to write about him Consy"





***





Journal

"Your secret was mine to keep but I am giving you the key."

It gently smothered every word in a neatly placed letter, just for me.

"She thought her life was a joke but it was worth more."

Oh, Aanya. I wish I could complete your every entry.




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