What is darkness?
Darkness causes you to locate the light within yourself. The moon shines only in the darkness, and the stars twinkle only at night. Darkness increases your inner strength. But still, people say they are scared of the dark.
I am not afraid of darkness because God has written this darkness in my destiny forever. It is my fate that cannot be changed. I have to live my whole life with this darkness, which has become my lifetime companion. I am Sneha Agarwal and I am completely blind. It is not that I have not seen this world. This darkness stepped into my life gradually and silently. I lost my eyesight when I was fifteen years old. My father was the light of my life and along with him, I lost my eyesight too. I was only fourteen years old at the time of his death.
I am Sneha Agarwal and I am 35 years old. I am living in this dark world for the last 17 years. It happened when I was recovering from the loss of my father.
I was greatly attached to my dad. And after his death, I fell into a deep depression. It was a blow to me which snatched away everything from me. After 1 year of continuous mourning, I lost my vision slowly. After his death, I came to know that it was predicted previously by my doctor that I would lose my vision at any time. And he should be prepared for that. He concealed that fact from me and suppressed his pain. That's why he fell ill and never recovered. I was in 10th class at that time. My board exam was about to start. But just 3 days before my exams my loving father passed away. I don't know how I appeared in the exams at that time and how I got through. I was my father's princess. He would never let me feel a slight pain and stress. But how he would know that the pain of his death would snatch my vision sooner than predicted? I lost my complete vision when I was in class 12th. l was devastated and decided to end this dark life of mine. I thought that I had lost the guardian angel of my life. But my mother and my brother supported me and became another angel in my life. They supported me and encouraged me to continue my studies. My mother is a very simple and religious woman. And my brother is my best friend. Both of them started running everywhere to find a cure for me. But they never succeed. After a complete check-up, my doctor said that I would never recover my vision again. There was no cure for it because not only my eyes but also my veins were damaged and blocked permanently from my eyes ' blood supply. Now there was no chance to get my vision again. My brother sent my reports to the USA also but all in vain. Now it was time to accept my fate.
I thought I couldn't continue my study anymore but at that time my mother encouraged me to study and due to her encouragement I completed my M.Com and B.Ed. Too. Then I decided to continue my studies because I never wanted to be a burden on anyone in this world. I was unable to read the books so my mother read the books for me and recorded them also so that I could listen to them and revise my lessons. I didn't know about braille and any other technology so I had to study traditionally with general students. Neelam was my childhood friend who helped me a lot in this journey. Though it was hard to manage for me and the teachers, I decided to do it anyway. I was admitted to the B.COM program at DAV College and started to go to college with Neelam. My family collected all the available materials and helped me in my studies. I was graduated in 2010. Then my friend Neelam and my mother suggested me to do a B.Ed. Neelam filled out my form and did all the formalities. After completion of my B. Ed, I started preparing for competition exams and continued my M.com.
I appeared in my first competition exam as a grade 3rd teacher and got selected in 2012. I taught at that post for 2 years where my brother used to drop me at school. And appeared in my second competition exam as a school lecturer in 2015. I also cleared the R.A.S exam but I was selected as a school lecturer and got a nearby school. So I decided to join as a
lecturer. My brother's marriage was held in 2013. I never thought that my brother's marriage would be a boon from heaven as I got an angel in the form of my sister-in-law. I have never met such a nice person with a pure heart in my whole life. Soon she took responsibility and treated me as her younger sister. She never left me alone ever. She used to drop me at school take me home for lunch and then come again to pick me up. I have got a lifelong friend in the form of my sister-in-law. Everybody thought about how I would manage at such a high post without any vision. But I was confident and determined. So I prepared notes from my books to teach in senior classes. When I entered to take class for the first time I was very nervous but my students and colleagues supported me so much that I forgot my darkness and taught them so immensely that not only my students but also my principal appreciated me.
That day I realised that the world is not as dark as we see. We can achieve our lights here only. My darkness is my strength now because I can feel more, I think more than others and I can remember things better. I feel that darkness is inside us and it can be removed by our strong willpower and our strong family bonds. I am fortunate enough to get both of these. My bleak world is no darker.
I would like to say that nothing is impossible in our life. We can achieve whatever we want if we are determined. There is nothing to stop us. Darkness is a way to illuminate and enlighten our world. I can’t see the world but one day this world will surely notice my strength and my sparkle.
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