I was on a bus finally leaving my life behind. Most of you must say that I am stupid to leave a life full of everything, love, power, money, behind for nothing. But only I know what it is to live such a life. That life has everything but freedom and it was suffocating me. I needed air to breathe to feel alive but all the money in the world could not give me that. I started feeling like a plastic doll in her dream dollhouse. The only problem was that she could not move by her own will. I was in a golden cage that provided everything, money, jewels, luxury, and HIM. But it stopped letting me live. So, the moment I got my one open window I jumped. I took the bus that was going nowhere. Yes, nowhere, as I took a random bus and would go wherever it took, with no plans, no destination. Isn't that what life is? You travel your path without knowing your destination and with time you accept whatever the last stop is.
When I got down from the bus I smiled looking at the village that was still some distance ahead of me. Yes, it was the remotest village where even the bus didn’t go, I had to walk some kilometers to reach there. But was I complaining? No. I chose this place on purpose because it had no connectivity with the city or even the nearest town. And most important of all it had no cameras and the least internet connectivity.
I was not running from a simple life and finding me for him would be very easy, if he caught me on camera. Getting access to public cameras was no big deal for him. That was why I had to shift multiple buses getting off at unknown stops or mid-stops to avoid getting on camera. This was the only old bus I found that he would never search or get access to. And he was anyway too busy to even bother looking for me.
As I walked inside the boundary of the village I was greeted with curious but old gazes. The village seemed to have more of an older population, which was understandable as most of the youngsters left for towns or cities for a better lifestyle. But in search of money and fame, we all forget to live. We forget what really matters, people. People who are ready to sacrifice themselves for you but could also sacrifice you when they see their worth losing.
As I walked further I was stopped by some ladies of the village. “Who are you and why are you here?” asked the oldest of all, eyeing me up and down like judging me. She seemed like their head as others were just looking at me with curious gazes.
“Namaste Dadi ma.” I joined my hands leaving my bags on the ground and slightly bowed my head. “I am Aditi and I am here to stay and help the village,” I said with a genuine smile because what I have learned from the 26 years of my life in that cage is that a fake smile only works for fake people, which most in that place are but if you want to win hearts you must be genuine with your words and smile.
“People leave this village and do not come to live here. Tell me why you really are here?” The lady pressed again. I understood how strange it might be for her and others who have now stopped to listen to our conversation. And from the look of it, I think almost the whole village was here. I took a look around the crowd and could count the people easily as there were mostly elders, only a few adults, and even fewer children. They all were looking at me like I was some science experiment waiting to explode and amaze them. I chuckled at the thought which made the lady glare at me.
To not embarrass me further I answered “I understand why you are asking the question dadi ma as people mostly move forward towards cities and lights and none towards dull villages. But I may have experienced that the shiny lights are shallow from the inside only meant to consume you, real life is where the people you love are. And if you don’t have anyone of your own you make the ones without family your family.”
The other two smiled lightly but the older lady gave me a spectacle look so I continued “I am here in search of peace and to live. I hope I can return the love you are going to provide me.” Saying this I bowed to touch her feet but she stopped me mid-step and hugged and shocked me and said
“Daughters in our village do not touch elder’s feet.”
The hug made me cry because it had been years since my family had hugged me or shown any affection. They always thought that showing affection makes you weak and that rulers can not be weak. But they forget that affection does not make you weak but strong because family makes you stronger. They would never understand that and I had long lost my hope in them, my only hope was him but even he broke that. I hugged her tiger because I had been controlling the tears since I jumped out of my window. I needed the motherly embrace to say that cry all you want baby your mom is always there. But I could not turn to my mother because she was just as cold as others. But this old lady's hug and warmth made me realise what I had always been missing and searching for was only genuine and pure affection. She caressed my hair and after a few minutes when I collected myself she called her grandson to help me.
His name is Yash and he was helping me to my small house with my luggage. On our way back we talked and he told me a lot about himself and the village. He was a young man in his late 20s who was amongst the few who decided to stay in a village and work for their community rather than work for money in cities. The village only had 10 families left, the rest all shifted to towns or cities in search of work. Most of the elders stayed behind, only 5 families' children stayed and only 3 families’ third generation like him wanted to stay in the village. On our way, he introduced me to many and said his grandmother would want me to rest today and would take me tomorrow to meet everyone.
The next few days went in a blur as Dadi Ma introduced me to everyone in the village and also she mostly cooked for me or with me. The people of the village were also greeting me with happiness. I loved how lovely and welcoming they all were, this was the beauty of small towns and villages that they did not kill each other for power and money.
Within a month of moving in here, I got to know everyone by name and face and made a lot of friends. Many ladies and girls of the village would come to me and ask me to help them dress stylishly like me or compliment me here and there about my beauty and fashion. But they had no idea what I had to go through to get that. How all my life I was trained to be this polished woman, pleasing everyone she met. But no more, I was not that woman who would please others sacrificing her happiness. I will now only live for myself and help these people.
Yes, I was going to help these people develop enough to be self-sustainable and not rely on cities to get their daily food. Yash mentioned that he was working on a similar thing where he was trying to help the milkman and the farmers of the village to get the right price in the nearby towns and cities for their products. When I heard his ideas on education and healthcare development for the village I immediately jumped in to help. Now I have been teaching and playing with the children during the day and helping the elderly with much-needed care by evening. And by the end of the day, I would sleep happy and filled with gratitude. Yash is also trying to get others back to the village who shifted to the towns by creating better income opportunities here and I was happy to help.
I have no regrets about leaving my old life back because that was not a life, I was an empty vessel placed in palaces to show off. The only thing I regret or miss is him. I left with only a note, asking him to never look for me as I was ending that life. In a way I did, I never wanted to be a part of that life anymore. I wanted to live and provide for people which I am doing here. That life only took away and never provided even life, if that was required. I shivered at the thought, his thought always did that to me, making me shiver remembering his dark intense gaze. He always looked at me like he would consume me whole if he ever got the chance and when he did get the chance he almost did.
I opened my eyes feeling someone was watching me like HE was watching me. But no one was there, and remembering him I knew I would not be able to sleep anymore. I got out to sit in the open and feel the air, which always liberated me. I got restless and decided to go for a walk to calm myself.
After half an hour the restless feeling still stayed and I felt like I was being followed. I looked behind my shoulder but never found anyone. So I decided to get back to my house and try to sleep as tomorrow was a big day because at the request of Yash, his friends were getting back to the village and would help their parents in farming and I would help them understand and get the right price for their produce. As I was about to turn around the corner a hand held my shoulder…
I immediately turned around, crossed my right leg, and interlinked him with mine while I held his hand in a tight grip and dropped him to his knees. That was only my self-defense mechanism working in case it was someone from the village. But when I saw the man he was not someone from around. “Who are you and why were you following me?” I asked, twisting his arm which was still in my hold.
He struggled to get out of my hold but could not and never answered. So I did what I do best. I punched him and kneed his chin. He tried to fight back but one thing he didn't know was that he was messing with the wrong person. His moves were slow and outdated. I easily brought him to the ground with only a few moves and chuckled at how he was thinking he could beat THE QUEEN with these moves. Keeping my feet on his neck I again asked “Who the fuck sent you?” this time firmer and in my voice.
“No one” he replied but I crushed my shoes further and he started struggling and breathing heavily. I twisted his shoulder and asked in a very dangerous voice “WHO SENT YOU?”
“I.. I don’t know. A picture of you was circulating and was told to bring news.” he said. I kicked his face, picked his phone up, and saw that the dark
web had my picture and a price tag on it. So someone was searching for me but who was it him or someone else?
I saw that he had not yet responded to the person if my identity was right or not. So I texted it was false and tugged his phone into my pocket. I bent down to his level and asked if he had any other communication with anyone and he didn’t. I hated it and left because of this but I have no other choice than to do this. I dragged his body to my backyard, swiftly got my pocket knife out, and cut his neck. I then buried him in my backway right next to the cactus. I did not want to kill but they left me with no other choice because only the dead kept secrets. And I couldn't let anyone know who I was or where I was.
I could not sleep the night and before anyone woke up I started executing my plan. The milkman sets out every morning at 5 to deliver milk and products to the nearby city. So I went there as always and when I got the opportunity I quickly tied the man’s phone to the tire with a loose enough jute string. The way to the city is full of potholes and speed breakers. The road also is rough on the outskirts. So, till the time the milkman would reach the jute string would break with the friction and the phone would be found far away from the village. I cannot risk anyone getting even an idea of me living here. I knew this was not over, if he got the idea it meant they were near me and it would not take time for them to get a hold of me. But the major question was was it him who was looking for me or someone else.
The next three months went with me living on the edge and always looking over my shoulder. I would feel like he was watching me but that can’t be it. If he was here then there was no chance he would waste even a second and not drag me back to that cage. Even Yash asked if something was bothering me, but I shrugged saying it was nothing, that I was just anxious about the new project of organic vegetables we were starting and their popularity in the city. Yes, his friends had returned to the village and started farming with their parents. And later Yash would go back to the city and sell our organically grown vegetables at higher prices than before and make a better living.
One day when we were returning to my house Yash asked to accompany me. While walking he held my hand which made me stop. It was not like I had never held his hand or he was giving me weird vibes but because of the way he was hesitating and acting this past month, I knew what was coming next. Another trait I was taught since childhood, is to read people and understand them even before they knew themselves. I happened to be the best student who always knew what the person in front of me was thinking and was likely to say. Every fake smile and word contrasted their actions, but that was what my life was.
Yash hesitated and said “I like you a lot Aditi and…” before he could complete a few people attacked us. They got the edge just because I was not paying attention and it was a sudden attack. But I got over it quickly and got out of their hold. There were 4 of them and two held Yash, while the other two tried to hold me.
It took me 15 minutes to neutralise them and now one one of them was lying unconscious while Yash was hiding behind the tree and the three were standing in front of me ready to attack. “Who sent you people, is it THE DEVIL?” I asked and they stopped and looked at each other exchanging looks.
One of them, maybe their leader, asked “D..d.. Devil is looking for you?” I nodded innocently and another responded hesitantly “No.. no matter who is looking for you. The one who sent us is far more dangerous than your Devil.”
I smirked so they were not with him and had no idea. I loved the chase when the person in front thought he had an edge because he was a man fighting a woman. After 15 minutes and a lot of sweat, I was able to kill 3 of them and kept the one alive as I still needed answers.
When I tied the one alive I looked up at frightened Yash, but he immediately came and hugged me. I patted his back saying “It’s fine, everything is okay.”
He replied, “I was scared.”
“I know,” I said and he left looking at the person in front. I bent to his level and asked my much-wanted questions. When he told me that the enemy was after me a sinister smile came to my face. The enemy got the whim that I was missing and was searching for me. This is going to be fun. They think they could get leverage by holding me against the Devil. Then they have got it all wrong. They would all be dead even before they could even harm a strand of my hair.
I killed him as well and buried all the bodies in my backyard. This backyard is becoming more of a graveyard and if it continued I would have to shift, but I liked this house. I kicked the dirt off the freshly plowed ground angrily as these people were dirtying my beautiful house.
After all this, I looked at a scared Yash who was helping me with no questions asked. When we both sat inside I gave him water to calm him a bit. I knew he wanted to ask questions but was hesitant so I answered “They were my family’s enemies who wanted to kill me or kidnap me so that they could win against them.”
Then I explained things to him only to the extent he needed to know. We planned how we would need to train people to fight as this was just the start and we needed to be prepared for the worst. So tomorrow we would be gathering and training others for their own safety.
After he left I sat there thinking. I exhaled in relief as he didn’t know where I was because no matter what we did, if he even got an idea about my location then everything would be finished. Devil was not any regular person, his name was his identity. He really was the Devil, he was the Devil of the underworld who ate people alive and left no crumbs behind. And the worst was when someone betrayed him. He would let someone live if he was in a good mood but never the one who betrayed him. And I just did that. I betrayed him when he was in a war with the rival mafia. I may survive the torture the enemy would put me through or even let them kill me without a fight because that would be liberation. But never let me get a hold of me because even I have no idea what he would do if he found me.
A week after the incident we had already started self-defence training. It was much needed to keep everyone safe. We were sipping our juice after training and walking home when Yash asked “You never gave me the reply?”
I hesitated because I didn’t want to break his heart but I could never be someone else’s as my heart only belonged to one. “I am sorry but..”
“But you don’t like me?”
“It’s not like I don't like you. You are a good person, but I only ever loved my husband and could never love anyone else.” I tried to explain as politely as I could.
He mumbled okay and left. I never wanted to break his heart as he was a good man, a humble and innocent one. The type which was rare to find but my heart was already with someone else. It always has been. I was born and tied to him. It was the perfect business deal; the mafia princess marrying the future mafia king. But he was not my childhood sweetheart, but an obsession. He was 8 years older than me but that didn’t stop me from making him only mine.
He was the most mysterious person who did only what he wanted, that was what made him deadlier than the others. But that didn’t stop me from getting what I wanted and I wanted him. I was brought up training to be his perfect wife, the quiet and obedient one, never questioning and always providing. But I never wanted that, I was not ready to share him with anyone else. Even if I was 8 years younger it did not stop me from standing between him and others. He was not allowed to even look at other girls, I had my ways. Since I was not able to read his mind like he did, I made sure he was always up on his toes trying to figure me out while I kept his mind away from others. I made sure I was his only obsession like he was mine. But I didn’t know that everything had its expiry, even love and obsession, or at least his did. I shook my head and cleared my thoughts that would only make me cry.
Two months went by in silence, with no suspicious activity or any outsiders entering our village. The villagers were now well trained and we had set traps in places of entry. It was safe and secure, no one could enter without permission. The villagers were very understanding when Yash and I told them that I was under threat by my family and they were more than happy to help without any further explanation. That was why I loved these people, they would die for you not because you paid them or they are scared of you but because they care for you. This is what I wanted all my life, but even my family traded me for power.
One night when I was walking home I was attacked by 5 men. I smiled because they were right where I wanted them to be. They think they found the loop and entered, but they fell right into my trap. If I had not told you then let me tell you that I was not the QUEEN just because I married the Devil but because I was actually his equal. He was good at attacking but I was best at strategy. He won his fights because I was the one sitting on his right guiding him through enemies' loops while protecting ours. These men think that guarding the obvious is enough, but being in the background I understood that guarding the front only keeps mobs out but rats don't have only one hole. They find every way possible or chew and make their own. So having a rat kill planted in not obvious places was equally if not more important. He was the Devil because I made him until he did not need me anymore. He got another strategist to help him. I warned him and asked him repeatedly to let her go but he preferred her strategy over mine. So I left in silence to see if he could survive this war with her and without me.
They were five and mocked me thinking I was some petite little girl but they didn’t know I trained with the Devil himself. If I can handle the unbeatable, mighty, Devil, I can easily kill these pests. The rage of the past made me lose control and I forgot I was not supposed to kill them but capture them and know how many others are coming. But now what’s done is done.
As I was digging their grave Yash came and silently helped me bury them in the playground where they were lured. After completing everything we got back to my house and as soon as we entered Yash said “I like you a lot Aditi and I think I have liked you since the day I saw you crying and hugging my grandmother” I chuckled at his cute confession and how he was not able to meet my eyes. “All I am saying is, I like you and would want to marry you.” He looked at my face which had a shocked expression because I expected the confession but marriage? That was out of the syllabus. This time he chuckled and closed my open mouth. “I know that you city people do not marry like this, but I have lived in the village all my life and am old school who would not waste time around and would love to make you mine. But if you are not ready, I am ready to try the dating thing you city people do?” he said with hopeful eyes.
I cleared my throat and said, “Yash you know..” he interrupted me in between and said “ I know you said you love someone else. But he is not here and never would be. Why not move on from him and…”
He stopped talking and was just looking, no, staring wide eyes at me. No wait, at something behind me. Before I could turn I heard his dangerous and deadly warning “And what boy?”
DEVIL. He was here. I turned to only meet his furious gaze. Yash came in front of me and warned “Whoever you are, I won’t let you hurt her.”
“No Yash stop! He’s…” But he did not let me finish and they both started fighting within minutes Yash was in his grip, his arm around Yash’s neck and he retrieved his gun pointing at his head.
“Tell me, boy. Even I would like to know how you would try to date MY WIFE?” Arjun said holding Yash tightly under his hold.
“No! Please let him go, he’s innocent." I pleaded.
“Innocent?” he mocked. “He dared to propose to MY WIFE in front of me. How is he innocent?” Arjun asked angrily.
“Let me go, Arjun, please. This is between you and me, he has nothing to do with it.”
“You are right, he has nothing to do with it. So, why don’t I end his misery here?” Arjun asked with a sinister smile and moved his finger on the trigger.
“No please” I begged.
“Do you love him?” he asked, looking straight into my eyes.
“Of course not, you know I have always loved you and only you. He and his grandmother have helped me here, let him go, please. He doesn’t need to be harmed because of me.” I answered truthfully looking straight into his eyes. Because as much as he hated betrayals he hated liars more than that.
He pushed Yash behind him and still looking at me said “Get lost before I change my mind”
Yash was about to move forward, toward me but I shook my head and he left hesitant. “So, you got a new toy as soon as you left me?”
I remained quiet because he was a hard nut to crack and you can not just argue with him because that would only lead you more into trouble. With him, you only spoke when it was necessary.
He rounded about and I moved along not wanting to be near and waiting for the perfect opportunity to run. We stopped when he was standing in front of my small table and he leaned on it and lit a cigar leisurely like he was here for a picnic. I knew I was standing in front of the entrance gate and I just needed to turn and run, while he would not be able to catch me. Because he might have strength but I always won with my speed.
As soon as I turned and was about to run he warned “You can run but I still have access to that man and his family you so wanted to save. Not forgetting this whole damn village I would be glad to burn to ashes.”
I stooped and turned “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I would, you very well know I would,” he said slowly and dangerously, taking another puff.
I was rooted in my spot, not able to weigh my odds. If I ran he would kill everyone in the village and if I didn’t he would consume me alive. I wanted to run and save myself but I couldn't risk the lives of those people who had only given me love and affection.
He kicked the chair in front of me that it dragged and stopped in front of me. “Sit,” was the only word he said while making the decision for me. And I obeyed, as always.
He kept looking at me with an intense gaze, smoking, while I kept looking at him trying to understand his next action. If I ever said I was the best reader of people then sue me because he was my only exception. I was never able to read him never before nor now. Even being with him all my life I could never predict his next move.
He leisurely finished his smoke, got up from the table, and slowly moved towards me like I was his prey, maybe I was. He stopped right in front of me and grabbed my neck.
And I knew that this was my doom.
React
