Walking through the lanes of Bangalore, India. Memories down the lane flashing back on my mind. Loving my old memories of Anindya and his passionate love. It is difficult to live without him. It seems like a break-up. Itis just like a story of my life unfinished, short one! Did it really happen? Just my imagination! Few feelings are not to be expressed. They should only be lived with! I gave Anindya a nickname Ani. He used to call me Mithia! Two souls but it feels like one body and one soul! Very different experience we shared with each other. Come back to me. I am still waiting for you silently with all my heart and soul. Will we meet ever or will we never?
He once made me see sunrise from high-rise building. I saw the city bathed with sunlight slowly. What an ecstatic scene it was! Suddenly can listen to a Bengali song from the locality. His memory still so fresh. He wrote a love letter and send a train ticket to come to him in Delhi from Kolkata. But unfortunately, I could not make it due to my University Exams. It was my bad luck to miss it. I am sure if I would have gone there it would have been full of surprise! We do not have any first meeting experience remembered by us! I was born and he came to visit me in the hospital with his parents when he was two years old. He told at that time, " I will take this doll to my home!" That was the start. He taught me how to put on buttons. He also made me understand how to put on right shoes in a proper way. I always used to wear right pair of shoes in left leg. I have many intimate and intricate memories, passionate too. We kissed each other first in the car on my18th birthday. He proposed to me in front of Goddess Durga during emersion. He told "Have you watched "My fair lady " movie? I said "yes!" he told "You are my "My fair lady!" It took me some time to process on that tender age old sweet sixteen! He told "If you are okay with it do not go and do not speak! I kept silent. That was our start of love life. Our parents were very happy to see us being with each other as they were best buddies. I was accepted in all ways at his place. We had our own gala time and dreamt a lot about a life together.
He made me what I am today in this world. My love was deep. We used to trust each other a lot. We never broke each other's trust. Our love is vaulting and caring in nature. Listening to music by holding each other's hands, sitting for long hours in the bank of river Ganga. We used to travel a lot to many places in Kolkata. Having candle-light dinner together is an important part of our love life. I do not remember a single day without him.
He was so very caring, loving and passionate in nature. Used to go for long drives a lot. Once we went to seaside, we were watching lovely sunset together! It was serene, natural beauty. Sun was kissing sea's every drop of water and waves before setting in the oblivion. Once we went to hill station and watched sunrise together from our balcony. We had coffee from the same mug. I used to love tea and he was in love with coffee.
We had our small fights. We had our difference of opinion. But we never go to sleep without solving our fights. We had our small world. Once we found a kitten on our terrace. She was hurt. It was in our childhood days. We managed to take care of that kitten. We used to give her milk and fish and bread. We used to fight that who will take care of the kitten first and who will play with her! Our own world of love has its own language, depth and waves of thoughts!
He went to study MD in Oncology in AIIMS Delhi. I felt lonely in Kolkata. We managed through writing letters and calls. It was in 2008. I did not have android phone. We used to crave for each other. He used to come to Kolkata. Then sometimes we had our passionate love making sessions. I still remember rain wet evenings. We used to hold each other's hands tightly. Suddenly at the age of 25 it all went so different. I remember him only in photos. I did his last rites after his sudden death! I did not cry but could never speak after that. I became dumb. Doctor told if I do not cry then I would never speak again!
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